Reconsidering Loneliness...

I spent the last hour sitting outside. The main reason being all my friends had the common sense to go to sleep. I, however, slept 13 hours last night. Apparently, I'm a new born infant. But I needed some time to sit, marinate, and decompress (from my stressful day of video games?). But as I was sitting a girl stumbled by leaning on a friend, clearly enjoying rush week, and said, "You look lonely." Not knowing how to reply to that I said, "Well...you look pretty drunk." She began to laugh hysterically and continued on her drunken way. But it got me thinking. Why did I have to be lonely? Can't a guy just be by himself at 1 o' clock on a Saturday night? Our culture has blurred and confused the terms "lonely" and "alone." Loneliness is a powerful surge of emptiness and solitude-not good. Alone is defined as being exclusive from anyone or anything else. I hate both states of being. I can't stand being alone...I feel trapped inside my head with no way to communicate or express my haphazard, perpetual bombardment of thoughts. But it is a really intriguing concept. Solitude is an amazing discipline. I'm just beginning to understand the possibilities of a time "excluding" everything and everyone but God. To truthfully respond to Ms. Inebriation...I was a little lonely, a little homesick. But that time can serve as such a blessing--a time to scroll through my phone's address list and pray for people by name, a time to reflect on the way I acted that day and how I can better represent Christ the next, a time to list the blessings and praise the Father, a time to tune into God's frequency and listen, a time to readjust what is important and funnel out what is junk. It's a really important time. I've tried it before, but always with a text here or there, an iChat interruption, a TV break, or a song in the background. But this time...I knew it was late and despite my efforts to break the loneliness (even Jon Heintz didn't pick up his phone), I could come to God in complete silence and solitude. It's not a new idea or practice, but I was so blind to the power of silence. How could I spend so much energy into finding new underground music, Taylor Swift guitar tabs, or interesting philosophy websites, while I completely fail to seek out God? I spend all day with friends, constantly feeding my senses and filling my life up with junk. But I'm starting to learn that maybe a little time of "loneliness" is a pretty incredible gift.